New York Yankers

People watching:

1) Voodoo Broadway obsesso man – while we were waiting for the West Side Story front row ticket lottery to be drawn this old guy in Jesus sandals and chinos that hadn’t seen a washing machine in a good year with a beer belly that would rival old Boony’s started rocking back and forth with his half-closed eyes rolled back in his head and hands facing palms down murmuring what we can only imagine was some sort of voodoo spell. We won the tickets. He didn’t. Voodoo foiled.

2) Met meditation man – We were outside the Egyptian Temple of Dendur in the Metropolitan Museum of Art when a dreadlocked dude in fisherman’s pants sitting cross-legged in front of the temple started meditating. There is meditation and then there is freaky deaky “I believe Darth Vader raped my fairy god-mothers’ sister and now I must wage a war of vendetta against the evil Serath and his minions” meditation. This guy was clearly the latter and he started OMing very…very loudly. He then started “feeling the energy” of the temple by putting his hands out in front of him. At this point we decided to make a beeline for the exit.

3) Flat mate – We were staying in a friend of Lize’s apartment and her flat mate Tim dressed in fluoro pink shoes and string singlets was an absolute scream. A selection of Tim quotes: “I go to the solarium at least once a week…does that make me tanorexic?” “I’m gay…not going to the gym is not an option!”

4) Subway slurry – A girl with a heavy Bronx accent wearing denim and lycra that left little to the imagination and earrings you could hoolahoop with had a poor young guy in naval garb cornered in the train. Like your typical seppo she was talking non-stop shit and this poor guy’s face was a brighter shade of pink than Tim’s shoes. When he finally escaped she followed him saying “I might seem like I am stalking you but I am actually going shoe shopping here.” We were in china town.

5) Malevolent market man – we were sauntering through Union Square markets when an old dude yelled at us in a thick yankee accent “make up your mind where you are going” before rushing past us at breakneck speed. It appears New Yorkers don’t even have time to be considerate on the weekend.

My final verdict on New York…fantastic except for the natives!