Central Perk

We’re sitting in central park, dripping in the humidity again, but unfortunately unable to strip this time (Americans are such prudes). The air is so still and the sun is so bright. There’s an old couple just down the hill from us lying in each other’s arms, giggling and snogging like hormonal school kids. I can understand why John Lennon spent his days here. Amazing to find such peace in the centre of madness. We rode bikes through here a few days ago, past baseball fields, lakes, through green open fields and forests, past squirrels, horse drawn carts, merry go rounds, staggering, underweight, leathered old women in running shorts, Guggenheim, roller bladders, buskers and lovers. Keen effort for one hour… must admit my bottom and Cam’s testes are still bruised.

After we returned the bikes, we stumbled back through the park on clumsy legs to the Met. We were ensnared in her labyrinth of beauty and wonder for four hours during which we saw Monet, Van Gough, Pissaro, and Matisse! And finally, as we meandered through a man made bamboo maze on the rooftop of the Met, overlooking central park out to the city, and sipping on sangria (we’re going to Spain, that was possibly unnecessary) it finally sank in that our hedonistic holiday had truly begun.

Yesterday was a little less beautiful… we had to sit in a grimy, clinical, fluoro lit social security office for almost 2 hours before being turned away numberless (attaining that little bastard was the main reason we came to New York), and we had to endure a few trips to hideous Times Square. I know it’s a sight to behold, but honestly, it is revolting… consumerism, materialism and capitalism at its very best, or wicked worst perhaps? But the revoltingness was worth it… we won two front row tickets in a lottery to see West Side story for $26 each. It was amazing, corny and hilarious, but somehow touching. We both left in tears.

Better still, yesterday my ex New York booker suggested that I become a plus size model! In a city that offers ‘diet food’ options in Chinese restaurants (steamed, without oil, sauce on the side, brown rice…) where everything can be made fat free, sugar free, meat free, dairy free, caffeine free, wheat free, and taste free, where fake tanned, botoxed, sinewy women seem to be running everywhere with weights tied to their ankles, and where muscular men finish work at 10pm only to go to the gym for 2 hours, this doesn’t come as a surprise! But far from being horrified, I think it is brilliant! The easiest job in the world just got a whole lot easier! The catch is, I may be too small. Ah, no such thing as perfect eh?